Here's part of an email I sent to Caitlin the other day :
"I'm sitting a Kako's desk [Kako is a friend of mine], looking up towards the MCR [Main Common Room]. The late afternoon sun sprawls across the lawn, lighting up the sides of the two gum trees I can see out the window, making this clever little splotchy bit running up the middle of the trees that can't decide whether or not it's in light or in shadow. The door's open, and it's about twenty degrees. The birds call to each other every now and then. But it's going to take a while for this place to feel like home."
I went to Bowral in June for part of the holidays (just a couple of days), and although everything was familiar, it didn't feel like home, as I thought it would. I'm going to Goroka, PNG, from 15-30 September (woot!), but I don't think that I'll find home there either.
So where is home?
C. S. Lewis wrote : "If I find in my heart a desire no experience in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was made for another world." (Mere Christianity, I think).
I don't think I will ever really feel at home anywhere in this world. Why?
"All these people [Enoch, Noah, Abraham etc.] were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, because he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:13-16 (NIV)
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3 comments:
Hi Zander! It's caitlin here. This is exciting. I have never been on a blog before. Makes me think of the movie "The Perfect Man" or something. Question: when i write you a message, can everyone see it? Or are you the only one that can see it? I am going to send you an email.
I miss you, xx Caitlin
Hey Zander! Great to read your blog in my lunch break - a nice time of reflection on something higher than payroll figures. Enjoy your afternoon, Miriam
hi folks. zander, that splotchy bit on the trees where the light can't decide whether it's in shadow or not reminded me of where we are at sometimes as christians. to be in full sun (fully committed to God) is a very vulnerable position to be in, and it hurts too, as we are always aware that we don't belong anywhere, we are strangers in this land. yet to be in full shade means that we miss out on the love and relationship of God which is in it's essence the life that we were created to live. so we often spend our time in indecision, not wanting to fully commit, nor forfeit the Life that comes with knowing God. to be in a splotchy bit and move through it into sun is okay but to try and stay there -surely God deserves more than this. however, it isn't easy, that's for sure. yet i hope in the fact that it is worth it beyond all measure.
steph.
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